Chris Merkwaters tossed his coal on to the stained couch and slammed his apartment door.
"I hate my life" He said to his dog as he collapsed on to the couch. He attempted to reach for the TV remote but gave up in half way through the process."I brought you a treat from work" he said and tossed the blood stained paper bag on to the floor near by Dino. He stared at the grey paint on his walls, the wall was pealing and there were water stains nearly everywhere on the wall. He then looked at his kitchen which had piles of junk food on the counters, dishes that no longer could be cleaned, and for some reason his underwear was on the toaster. He then for the first time in a long time inhaled the scent of his apartment which had a variety of smells like spoiled milk and year old fish. He had lost motivation and hygiene all because of one stinking job.
He looked around and on top of a dark wood table was fish tank he had complete forgotten about. He stood up he knew he had never flushed a fish down a toilet before so they had had to decomposed in there. Chris could not see through the water tank but he could see there was a red tie that he had only worn once ever in his life. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom which was in even more horrible conditions. The sight of it would paralyze a health inspector for the rest of his life. He looked at Dino who had long finger nails and grimy brown fur even though Chris recalled his dog being white once. Chris then looked upon himself in the mirror and his hands began to shake, he looked down at them, rugged and bloodstained. In a blink of an eye he raised his had and punched the mirror. He couldn't look at himself. At the age of 21 he had already begun to gain grey hairs and dark spots under his eyes.
The phone rang in the living room. He knew who it was even though he had not checked the number.
"Hi mom" He said while trying to pickup after himself.
"Hi honey, how was work?" she said.
"Could have been better" He replied hoping he didn't hurt his mom's feelings.
"Why what happened?Did you cut yourself again? Is it bleeding a lot? Put some..."
"Mom! No I'm fine" he said looking at the cuts the mirror had made on his hand."Work is ruining my life." He didn't want to hurt his father who had gotten him that job after he dropped out of college.
"Honey you know your Dad worked hard on finding you that open spot"
"I know but it's ruining my life I didn't even know I owned a fish tank because of all the stress from work. Going in at 7 am then coming out at 9pm is just not right. And the working conditions, Lets just say they didn't want to give me a steak that fell on the floor."He couldn't hold it and he knew it was harsh. " But I wont quit".
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Journal #2
List of things.
Things that make me laugh: one thing that really makes me laugh is how people react to certain things. Ms. Walsh one great example of some one who made me laugh. We would sit in our desk the smell of coffee filled her room this made me feel at home this made me feel happy. Ms. Walsh would always have a kooky saying or some really cool reaction to participation. She would dance around and wiggle her wrist to depict a scene in a book. Every day I would look forward to her class because no matter how bad my day was she would bring laughter to my life.
Things that inspires me: Music has always felt like more than just entertainment it felt like a soul mover. Whenever I'm in depressed a good Katy Perry song picked me up. The beat will pump through my blood and into my heart pushing through my veins into my brain saying forget it just live it up. I smile because she makes me feel like I should help other people with their problems and help them find the Perry in them.
Things that I wish I never said: I wish I would have never said that my best friend was a harlot. This brought me great pain. Pain so powerful that I couldn't do things for days I felt like crawling into a ball and pushing tighter and tighter until I disappeared. That one summer day I felt so bad. I can still remember the sweat rolling down my forehead from getting irritated at her the sun scream rays at us making us even more aggravated. Pollen in the air irritating our eyes making us say things we didn't want to.
Things I'm afraid of: my biggest fear is the fear of being completely alone. The closest I've ever been to experiencing this is when I was home alone for 3 days, and the Internet was down. I felt disconnected specially since I don't make friends with people in my neighbor hood. I felt disconnected like no one was ever going to come and say hi. Like if I was complete stripped from the ability of feeling comfort. Coldness overcomes your body and paralyzed you from enjoying life.
Things I love to eat: I love Pizza. I love the taste of the tomato with the basil. Then the cheesy rich taste of mozzarella mixing with the tomato and the soft crust stuffed with cheese. The scents dance in you nose and they intensify your taste. You feel joy overcome your body and your your taste buds begging to do the rumba.That was only the first bite.
Things I hate to do: I always hate to be unprepared. Being unprepared makes me freak out even if it's that I don't have a pen, or that I forgot the stapler to staple my work I will freak out. I will panic if I lost my homework because working so hard and then it is all gone in a blink of an eye will kill me. Being unprepared makes me feel like from then on my day will fail and nothing will fix it. Being prepared makes me feel secure.
Things I would like to do in the future: Photography has always fascinated me. Photography is a kind of art that expresses your feelings without you having to slave over it. The camera lens is like your eyes and anything you admire through your eyes you can admire it through my lens. When the light is just right like a warm blanket and the breeze is very gentle and you see just one object that sticks out you know what you have to do.
Animals I Like: I love squirrels. Squirrels are my favorite animals ever because I feel like I have a lot in common with squirrels. Once I saw a squirrel in the park it was bouncing around, and climbing trees just being free. I remember freshmen year I used to take the fake fur of my coat unzip it and use it as a tail. I was weird but it was just me being a squirrel.
Smells I don't like: There are many things that trigger my gag reflex. One of them is the smell of wheat rice. My mom was on a diet and we were all eating healthy food. I have never in my life turned down a plate of food that my mom made untill that day. The rice smelled like rancid bread,the smell one would get from smelling a chemical from a lab, the smell that one gets when you puke out orange juice. This smell was the worst thing I ever experienced.
Artist I like: What makes an artist an artist is the ability to inspire me. Adele is an individual who moves one soul with her words. Her singing has a certain soul to it a broken one, one that has suffered very much but this soul for some reason all this hurt brings joy to my heart. Her voice is very sof like warm honey but with the rough feeling of a walnut. Her voice is soothing yet fragile. This is why she is the best artist out there she inspires the soul not just the mind.
Situations I would never like to be in: I would never like to spill anything on anyone ever again in my life. Once after school, when I used to eat ice cream, I had just gotten a cone from McDonalds and I was hanging out with my friends and I was in my happy zone. When I was young I couldn't stand in one place for too long and I would move around a lot. My best friend at the time had called me and I turned around and I didn't see the old lady inback of me and my ice cream was all over her. I felt so bad I didn't know what to do so I apologized and got her some napkins and she was ok but I will never eat a cone ever again.
Places I would like to visit: I have always been fascinated with Italian culture. Italy is rich in the arts and I've always loved the history of Italy. To me Italy is the most fascinating place on earth because of all the beautiful art and inventions done by so many artist. Venice is such a unique city and I would love to visit it one day. One thing that is my number one thing I love about Italy is the food such awesome food that makes you feel joy unexplicable to those who have not tasted it.
Things that make me cry: One thing that made me cry was the episode of Glee where Sue Silvester's sister who had down syndrome died. From the second you find out Sue's sister died untill they have the seremony you will find it hard to swallow or not tear up. The feeling that someone has ripped your heart out is nothing like the amount of empathy I had for this fictional character.
Things I Hate: One thing that really boils my blood is Homophobia. Homosexuals are humans to and to say that they don't deserve respect or deserve to be alive is just ignorant. As humans we should understand that no one in their right mind will ever want to be teased and turtured every day. LGBT people should be able to go about their lives without having to be made fun of all the time and when we as humans don't let that happen we are intolorant and that is something we as a nation should not have to deal with.
Things I like to do for fun: When I'm bored I love to draw the first thing that comes to my mind or something I've been thinking about for a long time Not so long ago I kept seing the image of a crystal that was on fire and had smoke wraped around it and I began to sketch it and after half an hour my vision became real. I love to draw things that come to my mind and store them away because one day I might be able to make it a shirt, or a sculpture. My dreams become real through pencil and paper.
Things I can't live without: I love to express myself and music is what shapes my life. Music really is the main way I express myself to my friends and to every audience I ever had in any play. Without music I wouldn't have been able to control my feelings or even get over a big fight. Music helps me clear my mind and help me live. Music is my life.
Something I would change about the world: I hate standards. I hate that a man can't stay home and take care of his children while the woman works. I hate that there is such thing as a "man's job". I hate that a boy can't dance because then he's gay. I hate how people think that one must stick to a book and those who break the book do not show individuality but flaws.
Things I live for: I live for theater. Every year of high school I was in the musical production no matter what role I got I would play it to the fullest. The number one thing I look foward to every year is the musical no matter how hard it is to learn my lines or make time for it but I will always love to take part of the theatrical experience every year as long as I can.
Languages I've always wanted to know: I've always wanted to learn Italian because I love Italian culture. Italian to me is like Spanish's romantic cousin. Italian will come easy to me because I know spanish and that's why I really want to learn it. I will be able to comunicate to a whole new kind of people.
Jobs I will like to do: My dream job is to design video games. I feel like I can put all my skills together and make the perfect game. I love to play video games and I come up with many ideas as I play them. I have written many possabilities for games and how the upcoming game should be and I would love to work in a place where I can let all my ideas develop. All my ideas could come true if I set my heart to it and I keep writting these ideas down.
Things that make me laugh: one thing that really makes me laugh is how people react to certain things. Ms. Walsh one great example of some one who made me laugh. We would sit in our desk the smell of coffee filled her room this made me feel at home this made me feel happy. Ms. Walsh would always have a kooky saying or some really cool reaction to participation. She would dance around and wiggle her wrist to depict a scene in a book. Every day I would look forward to her class because no matter how bad my day was she would bring laughter to my life.
Things that inspires me: Music has always felt like more than just entertainment it felt like a soul mover. Whenever I'm in depressed a good Katy Perry song picked me up. The beat will pump through my blood and into my heart pushing through my veins into my brain saying forget it just live it up. I smile because she makes me feel like I should help other people with their problems and help them find the Perry in them.
Things that I wish I never said: I wish I would have never said that my best friend was a harlot. This brought me great pain. Pain so powerful that I couldn't do things for days I felt like crawling into a ball and pushing tighter and tighter until I disappeared. That one summer day I felt so bad. I can still remember the sweat rolling down my forehead from getting irritated at her the sun scream rays at us making us even more aggravated. Pollen in the air irritating our eyes making us say things we didn't want to.
Things I'm afraid of: my biggest fear is the fear of being completely alone. The closest I've ever been to experiencing this is when I was home alone for 3 days, and the Internet was down. I felt disconnected specially since I don't make friends with people in my neighbor hood. I felt disconnected like no one was ever going to come and say hi. Like if I was complete stripped from the ability of feeling comfort. Coldness overcomes your body and paralyzed you from enjoying life.
Things I love to eat: I love Pizza. I love the taste of the tomato with the basil. Then the cheesy rich taste of mozzarella mixing with the tomato and the soft crust stuffed with cheese. The scents dance in you nose and they intensify your taste. You feel joy overcome your body and your your taste buds begging to do the rumba.That was only the first bite.
Things I hate to do: I always hate to be unprepared. Being unprepared makes me freak out even if it's that I don't have a pen, or that I forgot the stapler to staple my work I will freak out. I will panic if I lost my homework because working so hard and then it is all gone in a blink of an eye will kill me. Being unprepared makes me feel like from then on my day will fail and nothing will fix it. Being prepared makes me feel secure.
Things I would like to do in the future: Photography has always fascinated me. Photography is a kind of art that expresses your feelings without you having to slave over it. The camera lens is like your eyes and anything you admire through your eyes you can admire it through my lens. When the light is just right like a warm blanket and the breeze is very gentle and you see just one object that sticks out you know what you have to do.
Animals I Like: I love squirrels. Squirrels are my favorite animals ever because I feel like I have a lot in common with squirrels. Once I saw a squirrel in the park it was bouncing around, and climbing trees just being free. I remember freshmen year I used to take the fake fur of my coat unzip it and use it as a tail. I was weird but it was just me being a squirrel.
Smells I don't like: There are many things that trigger my gag reflex. One of them is the smell of wheat rice. My mom was on a diet and we were all eating healthy food. I have never in my life turned down a plate of food that my mom made untill that day. The rice smelled like rancid bread,the smell one would get from smelling a chemical from a lab, the smell that one gets when you puke out orange juice. This smell was the worst thing I ever experienced.
Artist I like: What makes an artist an artist is the ability to inspire me. Adele is an individual who moves one soul with her words. Her singing has a certain soul to it a broken one, one that has suffered very much but this soul for some reason all this hurt brings joy to my heart. Her voice is very sof like warm honey but with the rough feeling of a walnut. Her voice is soothing yet fragile. This is why she is the best artist out there she inspires the soul not just the mind.
Situations I would never like to be in: I would never like to spill anything on anyone ever again in my life. Once after school, when I used to eat ice cream, I had just gotten a cone from McDonalds and I was hanging out with my friends and I was in my happy zone. When I was young I couldn't stand in one place for too long and I would move around a lot. My best friend at the time had called me and I turned around and I didn't see the old lady inback of me and my ice cream was all over her. I felt so bad I didn't know what to do so I apologized and got her some napkins and she was ok but I will never eat a cone ever again.
Places I would like to visit: I have always been fascinated with Italian culture. Italy is rich in the arts and I've always loved the history of Italy. To me Italy is the most fascinating place on earth because of all the beautiful art and inventions done by so many artist. Venice is such a unique city and I would love to visit it one day. One thing that is my number one thing I love about Italy is the food such awesome food that makes you feel joy unexplicable to those who have not tasted it.
Things that make me cry: One thing that made me cry was the episode of Glee where Sue Silvester's sister who had down syndrome died. From the second you find out Sue's sister died untill they have the seremony you will find it hard to swallow or not tear up. The feeling that someone has ripped your heart out is nothing like the amount of empathy I had for this fictional character.
Things I Hate: One thing that really boils my blood is Homophobia. Homosexuals are humans to and to say that they don't deserve respect or deserve to be alive is just ignorant. As humans we should understand that no one in their right mind will ever want to be teased and turtured every day. LGBT people should be able to go about their lives without having to be made fun of all the time and when we as humans don't let that happen we are intolorant and that is something we as a nation should not have to deal with.
Things I like to do for fun: When I'm bored I love to draw the first thing that comes to my mind or something I've been thinking about for a long time Not so long ago I kept seing the image of a crystal that was on fire and had smoke wraped around it and I began to sketch it and after half an hour my vision became real. I love to draw things that come to my mind and store them away because one day I might be able to make it a shirt, or a sculpture. My dreams become real through pencil and paper.
Things I can't live without: I love to express myself and music is what shapes my life. Music really is the main way I express myself to my friends and to every audience I ever had in any play. Without music I wouldn't have been able to control my feelings or even get over a big fight. Music helps me clear my mind and help me live. Music is my life.
Something I would change about the world: I hate standards. I hate that a man can't stay home and take care of his children while the woman works. I hate that there is such thing as a "man's job". I hate that a boy can't dance because then he's gay. I hate how people think that one must stick to a book and those who break the book do not show individuality but flaws.
Things I live for: I live for theater. Every year of high school I was in the musical production no matter what role I got I would play it to the fullest. The number one thing I look foward to every year is the musical no matter how hard it is to learn my lines or make time for it but I will always love to take part of the theatrical experience every year as long as I can.
Languages I've always wanted to know: I've always wanted to learn Italian because I love Italian culture. Italian to me is like Spanish's romantic cousin. Italian will come easy to me because I know spanish and that's why I really want to learn it. I will be able to comunicate to a whole new kind of people.
Jobs I will like to do: My dream job is to design video games. I feel like I can put all my skills together and make the perfect game. I love to play video games and I come up with many ideas as I play them. I have written many possabilities for games and how the upcoming game should be and I would love to work in a place where I can let all my ideas develop. All my ideas could come true if I set my heart to it and I keep writting these ideas down.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Journal #1
Statement #1: When I was young I lived in a three story house and had my own room ever since I was born. I've never in my life not had my own room.
Statement #2: I plan to major in photography and Italian so I can move away to Italy and live with my best friend.
Statement #3: My grandma while she was pregnant fell off a horse, and was in a car accident. During the car accident the bus ended up falling out a bridge, and still my grandma mannaged to have a healthy baby girl who became my mother.
Statement #2: I plan to major in photography and Italian so I can move away to Italy and live with my best friend.
Statement #3: My grandma while she was pregnant fell off a horse, and was in a car accident. During the car accident the bus ended up falling out a bridge, and still my grandma mannaged to have a healthy baby girl who became my mother.
Monday, September 12, 2011
My personal goal for English this year...
My Personal goal for English this year in terms of a letter grade will be to acquire a A- or higher. This goal I believe is very achievable if I focus and work hard. I plan to extend my writing abilities by working hard and practicing my writing daily to improve my grammar and spelling.
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