Reflection #4

   My one fear while my work is being work-shopped I fear that the opinions my peers will have wont be on my writing but on me as a person. I like to push the envelop by writing about things people don't usually write about. I want my story to have a twist to it and writing about a guy falling in love with a girl and him having to prove himself is not good enough risk being taken. I fear that once my peers see my writing and how risky it is they will think less of me and think of as a overachiever, or that my work sucks because is not like their's. With all this set aside even though I know people wont like it because it is different, some will love it because it is no the same. People will hate you for not sticking to the norm or find it that my writing is just trying to hard to be different but that kind kind of criticism is not constructive so it shouldn't affect me. I'm excited to see what ideas other people will have about my character, and I also am exited to see people finding the symbolism I have chosen for my piece. I also want to hear what to add to my reading and what to completely forget about. I do believe that if I paint a good enough picture for the reader I will get the response I want.
   I think that most of my writing is has a lot of creativeness but I don't execute it as well as I wish. I tend to not be able to set the timeline of my story well enough so I have a serious problem with organizing my thoughts and just place ideas anywhere in the story. During the workshop I'm sure someone will tell me that I need to switch something around or that I should shorten something to make it flow better. I feel like I can relate with Hilma Wolitzer when she says that one must question if they want an "honest opinion from a loved one", because they don't really want to hurt you. That's why I wouldn't want to get criticism from a close friend but rather a peer who doesn't know me as a person or writer. "Didn't your mother proudly display your early artistic efforts on her refrigerator?" page 264. I feel like if I share my writing with anyone close to me they will lie to make me feel better. I don't like workshops with other who know me because I feel like they will hold back to not hurt me or not take it seriously.
  When I'm doing the criticism in my group I will try to remain serious and honest even if it's harsh because being nice wont help them. Writing notes as they read it might be scary and intimidating but it is helpful to explain how you feel about their reading  the moment it comes to mind. I feel like if I don't like a story I wont tell them I don't like it but I will tell them what they should work on because saying a story is no good is a lie because everyone has potential. A story can mean a lot for someone so tearing it down might not be the best thing to do because it can hurt someone's feelings. You must put yourself in their shoes and think what you would want them to say to you.