Journal #3: Fire

Out having fun at the party of the year, Effy, Freddie, and Cook all met up at JJ’s house. A terrible thunder storm the size of Texas began to come their way. A loud roar of thunder followed by a flash of lightening interested them to go outside. They were in the middle of Hurricane Deltrice. Freddie, Effy, and Cook stumbled outside with drinks in their hands when they heard another roar of thunder. Instantaneously Freddie is struck down by a bolt of lightning in front of Cook and Effy’s eyes. Cook fell to the ground in disbelief.

 Effy stared out the window feeling the chill from outside, creeping inside the house. She looked over to the outfit she placed on the door. An all-black dress with her favorite leather jacket beside it. She got up took her medication, looked at the time and climbed back onto her bed. Cook walked behind Karen looking at the casket as it was being carried away. He decided to walk away from everyone; picking up a rose to place on Freddie’s grave when everyone else left. Walking toward his best friend’s tombstone, Cook felt a chill as he continued to walk and when he looked up he saw Freddie standing in front of him. Before he could scream for help, Freddie disappeared. Cook stood there, his heart beating quickly, and sweat coming down his face.

 “Come on cookie monster, I know you’re happy I’m dead. Effy’s all yours now it was what you wanted isn’t it?” “ISN’T IT!?” Cook dropped down into the fetal position as he locked himself in the bathroom. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!” cook screamed. “Leave me alone, Effy never wanted me, she wants you and now you’re gone… you’re gone and I have no one.” “Aww poor little Cook, you think a little screaming on your part is going to get me to shut up. I’m all you’ve got mate! You’ve wanted me dead for so long. I’m going to make your life a living hell. I had it all!!! Everything is gone! You made me go to that party, I wanted to stay home.” Freddie taunted.   

“No! You went because you couldn’t stand seeing Effy with me!” Cook screamed. Cook curled up in a ball and fell asleep on the bathroom floor.

“Cook … You can’t escape me.”  Freddie approached cook and fixed the collar of his striped polo shirt. “Always have to fix you up hmm?” “What do you want from me?” Cook whispered. “Nothing.” Freddie said as he stabbed Cook in his stomach.

Cook immediately shot upwards as he awoke. He rubbed his stomach and signed that it confirmed that the pain was only a dream. “You know what you have to do Cook, Effy, she’s ruined everything hasn’t she.” Cook nodded solemnly.

He sat in front of Effy’s house contemplating whether or not to kill her. She was the reason we were there Freddie wanted to go to the movies but Effy wanted to go to the party.  It was all her fault! Freddie was right, he had to kill her, and she was a smut. He took the gallon of gasoline and kicked the door down.

“This is for Freddie, you bitch!” Cook said letting the rage cover his feelings for her. He put gasoline all over the place, the family pictures, and her fridge, everything she touched had to go. He entered her room and the rage started to fade. He saw his old t-shirt on her chair and felt some pain, but not enough to stop him. He made a trail toward the street of gasoline and tears. He took his matched back into his hands, lit a cigarette then flicked the match.

“Everything you touch you whore! He screamed, and then he realized. Everything. He looked up at the sky. “I’ll see you soon buddy” Then Cook walked into the flames. “Everything” he whispered. 

Slowing Down Time

sentence summary : Alisha was angry at herself for allowing her secret to be revealed. 

summary paragraph: Alisha ran out of her house the wind blowing in her hair, Simon yelled after her,but she payed him no mind to him. She knew she didn't deserve him, he was to good for her, she was a two timing hoe. She ran out into the oncoming traffic like a business woman,  she thought it was more important to check her phone rather than what was in front of her. The car came toward her in full speed but all she could think of was the face that Simon gave her when she spilled her secret. She thought maybe I deserve to die, he was to good for me, she was a whore. A single tear began to fall from her left eye as the realization sunk in that she cheated on him with her brother Nathan.

Slow motion/ Flashback: Alisha heard a loud honking before she felt a huge force on her hip. Her head whip-lashed and she was lifted up off the floor. Her hair danced with the wind as she slammed own into the hood of the car. Her arm dislocated under her. Her body began to shift in position. Simon stood by the door looking in fear, petrified. The body flew his way making an unnatural and awkward twist. The crack of her spine echoing through the air. Her body flew throughout the air blood splattering on the sidewalk. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Simon stood there as the sun blinded him watching as his first love's body flew throughout the air and a tear rolled down his cheek. Alisha's mutilated body started to descend above his head. It was as if her body had turned into a rag doll. Alisha's body finally crashed into Simon's arm dead. Simon stared at the disfigured body in front of him and couldn't help but weep, even if she did deserved it

Flashback Scene

We were scraping the chipped paint off the wall of the locker room in the community center. He didn't like the fact that I was here but how could I not. Freddie's neck still had scratches from last night. I didn't want it to happen, we had a few drinks and things just got blurry. I didn't even like him before. We were sitting at the bar of the community center. He was sitting there talking about how our probation worker was such a douche.
“He must have a tiny penis, you know? Like miniscule. That must be why he chose this job, to make others feel as shitty as him. He’s such a wanker.” He said taking a sip of his beer. I was laughing hysterically at his remark.
“Yes, I actually think he does have a small penis. I bet he could wear tights and nothing would show” I said smiling at him, and then I took a sip. For a second our eyes met.  He noticed me and he stopped talking he just smiled. I knew what it meant and so did he. We sat there staring at each other. I smiled again not knowing why I did it but it just seemed right. Then he smiled and I was sure of it.
“Do you wanna shag me?” he asked.
“I thought you were never going to ask you melon fucker” I responded. We sneaked out to the storage room of the bar making sure the bartender didn't see us. Locking the door behind we began to undress and the rest just happened. I woke up to the smell of plastic. Somehow last night we made our way to the gymnasium where we had fell asleep on some gymnastics mats. I couldn’t find my clothes and Freddie was asleep. Now we were standing here in the locker room just exchanging mortified looks wishing it hadn't happened.

Dear Reader Reflection

       My goal for the semester was to write in a way I have never written before. I hoped to write about something I do not usually write about. Another goal that I had was more academic I also hoped to get an 90 and up in this class but that goal unlike the others was not achieved. I was able to put all my strength into my writing and work really hard to make every piece into a memorable piece. I think this was also my flaw when it came to this semester I didn't do anything but focus on the writing and not the other things we had to do in class. I feel like if I would have focused more on doing some of the other work like studying for my vocabulary exam. One of the biggest struggles I had this semester was doing my homework in school. I could never do it the years before so this year was not different. I can't do homework outside of my home but when I got home I would have wasted my time with my friends. The main way I have solved this is that sometimes I make sure I hang out with friends who have to do homework or have a computer for me to use since the laptops at Hunter are always taken and we can't get Macs. I still need to work on this because sometimes I can really procrastinate and not get my work done on time.

       I took Geography and Math 101 and I hated them both. I realized that Math was not the walk in the park I thought it was. I also learned that lectures will drain you and that paying attention is key for all college classes. I did hate both my classes but I'm sure I passed both with at-least an 80 until this point. In a year I don't see myself doing anything differently. I might be able to change my hanging out habits but my way of doing work will remain the same. I have no idea what I want to do myself but I'm sure it will be something that has to do with the arts. I think I am still a beginner when it comes to writing but I am good at it. I think that if you don't know how to put your ideas onto paper you can't express yourself properly in conversation. Knowing writing techniques can help you know what to look for in reading when you are studying for something that might be symbolic, like in history taking notes of setting and ideas is something that is important. When you know how to express yourself on paper you can express yourself in life in any given situation. 

       Throughout this course I have learned that fiction is not just about making up things you think will be cool but also about making things believable. I have enjoyed all the pieces that we didn't have set characters because that is my favorite part of fiction, making a believable character that can relate to me. The easiest part of my writing is coming up with a character and making the reader feel for them instead of not care about them at all. It is my favorite part of writing because I do it all the time with video games. The most difficult skill is making the setting symbolic without it being too obvious. I guess I have a tough time with this because I think a lot of my setting conflicts are too obvious so I have to stop judging my ideas. By the end of the year I hope to write a character that I fall in love with and keep writing about. By the end of the year in college is developing better homework planning habits. This portfolio has many of the ideas that come to my mind and it also shows how creative I can really be. It also shows how dedicated I am to my writting

Journal # 12 (Draft 3 of Sudden Fiction)

The Silenced Night

By Kelvin Lee Downer

 Iris awoke in the middle of the night to find her sister packing her clothes. The window was open in the room and an odd smell filled her nostrils. The room was cold, and only the moon lit the room. She observed quietly as her sister shoved clothes into a duffle bag. Her sister May seemed to be very scared; her hands shook frantically as she placed things into her bag. May stopped packing clothing and broke her tiara she liked to wear when she played with Iris. May was 17 and she had done something that not even the bravest guys on the football team would have done. Iris sat up in her bed wondering what was happening.

"May what are you doing?" asked Iris rubbing her eyes. At that moment the curtain blew into the room masking both their faces.

"Iris, go back to sleep," May said as her voice cracked. She knew her sister was only 10 but, she had to deal with it. She couldn’t take her, it was too risky. Was she a bad sister for trying to leave her behind? Iris panicked as she noticed there was blood on her sister's hand.

"Why are you bleeding?" Iris asked.

"I had a little bit of an accident" she answered quickly wiping the blood off without success.

"Are you okay? Should I ask Mom to get you a band-aid?"

"No, just lay back down" May said.

"Where are you going?"

May knew that she should have lied but leaving her sister behind would have been wrong. She walked towards Iris' bed and kneeled down.

“You have to promise that if I take you with me you will listen and do as I say, understood?" At first Iris was a little hesitant about this request.

"Why are we leaving?" she asked.

"You can't ask me that. You have to pack your things and I'll explain later, okay?"

Iris nodded her head. She knew how violent things could get in her house and that her sister wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She sat up and started to pack her stuff.

"Stay here. I’ll go get food from the kitchen," said May while walking out of the bedroom door.

Iris peeked through the door; she could see lights flickering from the living room. After Iris was done packing May returned with a book bag filled with the little food they had. Her hands were cleaned now but the image remained in Iris’ mind.

"We have to leave now" May said.

Iris grabbed her stuff, put on her shoes and a sweater. "Is Mom okay?" Iris asked as she took hold of her sister's hand, “Can she come?”

"No, she's in a better place now. She’s far away from that bastard Bill. He won’t be hurting anyone ever again” May said holding her sister close.

The two girls jumped out of their bedroom window into the moonlit backyard and walked into the woods; not once did they look back.

Mini Reflection
What I learned from the workshops is that I should really read my work out-loud to make sure my grammar and spelling is on point when I'm writing. I also learned that there I needed to add more to my piece to allow the reader to understand the situation better. Another thing I learned from work-shopping is that my piece was more of a dirty realism piece because it wasn't a happy ending even though my character did change. 

Journal #10 (Draft 2)

The Silenced Night

by Kelvin Lee Downer

Iris awoke in the middle of the night to find her sister packing her clothes. The window was opened in the room and an odd smell filled her nostrils, the room was cold, and only the moon lit the room. She observed quietly as her sister shoved clothes into a duffle bag. Her sister May seemed to be very scared; her hands shook frantically as she placed things into her bag. May stopped packing clothing then she grabbed her phone and iPod. May was 17 and she had done something that not even the bravest guys in the football team would have done. Iris sat up in her bed wondering what was happening.

"May what are you doing?" asked Iris rubbing her eyes. At that moment the curtain blew into the room masking both their faces.

"Iris, go back to sleep," May said her voice cracking. She knew her sister was only 10 but, she had to deal with it, she couldn’t take her it was too risky. Was she a bad sister for trying to leave her behind? Iris noticed there was blood on her sister's hand.

"Why are you bleeding?" Iris asked.

"I had a little bit of an accident" she answered quickly wiping the blood off without success.

"Are you okay? Should I ask Mom to get you a band-aid?"

"No, just lay back down" May said.

"Where are you going?"

May knew that she should have lied but leaving her sister behind would have been wrong. She walked towards Iris' bed and kneeled down.

“You have to promise that if I take you with me you will listen and do as I say, understood?" at first Iris was a little hesitant about this request.

"Why are we leaving?" she asked.

"You can't ask me that you have to pack your things and I'll explain later, okay?"

Iris nodded her head. She knew how things violent things could get in her house and that her sister wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She sat up and started to pack her stuff.

"Stay here, I’ll go get food from the kitchen," said May while walking out their bedroom door.

Iris peeked through the door; she could see lights flickering from the living room. After Iris was done packing May returned with a book bag filled with the little food they had. Her hands were cleaned now but the image remained in Iris’ mind.

"We have to leave now" She said.

Iris grabbed her stuff, put on her shoes and a sweater. "Is Mom okay?" Iris asked taking hold of her sister's hand.

"No she, but she's in a better place now far away from Bill too. He won’t be hurting you or me ever again”

The two girls jumped out of their bedroom window into the moonlit backyard and walked into the woods; not once did they look back.

Journal #11

Part A:


Sushyto - Alien

Sushyto is a Japanese Restaurant located near the sun. Many would like to go there to eat daily however, it takes quite some time and money to get there. When you enter Sushyto, a man takes your coat and a waitress seats you at a table. Sushyto is often visited for business lunches or special occasions because it is so unique, being that it has the best Japanese food available. All of the food is cooked naturally by sticking it outside for a few seconds so, it is organic which makes it price-y. There is always a cooling breeze from the central air conditioning system as it can get slightly warm in the restaurant. Most rave about this high end Japanese restaurant. Many say Sushyto is worth more than 5-stars; it is worth the biggest star out there.

Luxumburg Cafe - Ordinary 

The door to the cafe was short and the cafe had no windows. It was in America but it was like entering into a new realm. The interior was only lit by candles and it was damp. The customers never saw their waiters because they would sneak around waiting for the perfect time to place your order.

Part B:

   Jane walked into the Urban Outfitter with $500 dollars in her purse and once she was done shopping she had $20. She was wearing pink heals with a  pink vest and a white mini skirt, inside her blond hair hugged her face and the pink shirt she wore complimented her tan. She the spit out her gum on to the sidewalk and had a care free smile. Her mom always told her to plan ahead so she always did but this time she had bought more than she had expected. She walked towards her house and put on her headphones, she then put on Mistletoe by Justin Bierber as she struggled to keep hold of her bags properly. The sun was shinning very bright and the wind was calm. Jane didn't like the heat but she sure loved dressing like she did. The streets were very empty for such a beautiful day so she was enjoying every minute of it. She looked up at the sky so beautiful and at the distance she noticed a cloud. It was a dark cloud and she had no idea how this could be possible with such wonderful weather. As she stared more and more she noticed they were shower clouds and so she spend up. As she ran home she stumbled on her bags and fell flat on her face. She began to cry because the pain was so immense that she could not hold it in. The clouds had then fully rolled in and it began to rain. Her pink heels wet and so were all the clothes she bought.